


When a Minion is Badass...She Becomes R

by LivetoDream333 (orphan_account)



Series: Double-O Drabbles [7]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: BAMF Minion, James makes it better, M/M, Massage, Misunderstandings, Not really rape, Q is having a bad day, Triggers, don't know where this came from, possibly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1529339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LivetoDream333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is tagged rape/non-con because it may cause triggers for it, not because anyone is getting raped, though to a minion it sounds like it. If you have triggers, skip the italics.<br/>I have no idea where this came from...<br/>I don't own Bond.</p>
    </blockquote>





	When a Minion is Badass...She Becomes R

**Author's Note:**

> This is tagged rape/non-con because it may cause triggers for it, not because anyone is getting raped, though to a minion it sounds like it. If you have triggers, skip the italics.  
> I have no idea where this came from...  
> I don't own Bond.

When a Minion is Badass

 

James strode into Q’s office, nothing out of place in his suit, except for a small splattering of blood, and he instantly knew something was wrong. It was only his seventh mission with Q, but he knew Q well enough to know he looked like hell. “Please tell me you brought your equipment back. I hope you did, for your sake.” Q’s voice was full of tension, just as his entire body was, wound up like a piano string, only too tight, as if one touch would make him snap. James put his gun, radio, and watch down on the desk, perfect aside from a few scuffs.

“What is it?”

“What is it?” At Q’s tone, James closed the door gently, to keep others from hearing it. “I have had three agents in the field today, and all three of their missions have gone to shit because they refuse to listen to me because they insist I’m ‘not qualified’ to tell them what to do, the bloody bastards. Just because I look young doesn’t mean I am, I’m thirty-fucking-two. One of them had to have a medical evacuation because he was shot, one actually completed their assignment, and the other smashed their earpiece and took out their tracker, for all I know he’s being tortured because I _can’t_ fucking find him. All the while M keeps demanding I get repairs done and choose R in the next hour…” Q froze and bit his lip. “Sorry… I just… I’m fucking responsible for them, you think they’d at least give me the courtesy to not feel responsible for them getting hurt by not getting hurt. I shouldn’t have—”

“No… It’s alright. I understand.” James said, suddenly realizing that there were several different camera feeds running on Q’s computer, scanning for 008’s face. He was still searching for him.

“Thank you for bringing your equipment back in one piece this time, 007.” Q sighed, turning back to his keyboard.

“You must be aching.”

“Hmm?”

“The way you’re holding yourself, it must be making your muscles sore. I can fix that, get rid of the tension.” James commented.

“No, thank you.” Q responded crisply, his typing missed a single beat though.

“No, not like that.” James chuckled. “Though I’d be more than willing to if you wanted.” James teased and Q rolled his eyes.

“No, thank you,” Q repeated. “I’m sorry for not joining in the usual banter, but I really do have a mess to try to clean up.” James rolled his eyes and walked around the desk to stand behind Q. Q was too absorbed to notice until James gently gripping his shoulders. “What in the hell are you doing, 007?”

“Trust me, just relax. I think you’ll enjoy it.” James said before he began massaging Q’s shoulders.

800Q8

Denise Evans walked towards Q’s office carrying files in her hands. She’d seen what Q was going through and had picked up some of his weight, hoping that the poor man would actually sleep someday. She knew he must be exhausted and in a foul mood. She hadn’t seen him drink a single cuppa all day. He was never in a good mood if he didn’t have tea. She nearly knocked on his door, knowing full well it locked when it shut, but she heard something that made her pause. “ _What in the hell are you doing, 007?”_ Q sounded…stressed, startled. Q wasn’t easily startled.

 _“Trust me, just relax. I think you’ll enjoy it.”_ What the hell? Were the two of them…together?

_“Stop that, I’m trying to work, 007.”_

_“Listen to me,”_ James’ words were a command, “ _you’re going to shut up and let me do this, you hear me?”_ Denise’s eyes widened, what if they weren’t? Q alone with an adrenaline-high 007 who apparently wasn’t taking no for an answer. God…James was going to rape him.

 _“Ah, you bastard!”_ Q’s voice snapped, angry and pained. Denise dropped everything and ran to her desk grabbing a gun and running back to Q’s office, working the lock as she listened.

 _“Just relax. You’d feel so much better if you relaxed. And stop squirming so damn much.”_ James commented. _“You’re making this difficult.”_

“ _Just stop and—ah…”_ Q let out a whimper of pain, low and uncontrolled.

 _“Relax, I can make it all go away. Jesus, you’re tight. I can fix that, trust me. Just let me.”_ Denise had the cover off and was trying to unlock the electronic lock as quickly as she could.

 _“Fuck you that hurts. What part is supposed to feel good?!”_ Q snapped back.

“ _Just wait until I find the right—“_ Q let out a loud groan in pain or pleasure… Pleasure or pain? “ _Spot…see? I knew you’d enjoy it.”_

_“You’re a bastard.”_

_“And—”_ Denise unlocked the door and slammed it open, pointing her gun at James. Reflexively James had the gun he had returned back in his hand, trained on the young woman.

“Get the fuck away from him!” Denise snapped at him angrily. “Q are you—?” She looked at Q and realized he was still fully dressed…as was James.

“Denise, what in the hell are you doing?” Q demanded, slowly reaching out, so as not to startle James and grabbing his wrist, lowering his gun slowly.

“Um…saving you…from being sexually assaulted by a double-o high on assignment adrenalin.” Denise said, biting her lip and blushing before she lowered her gun and placed it on the table.

“Sexually assaulted? I know I have a reputation in the field, but home is different and there’s never been a soul I took to bed unwillingly, so whatever’s been going around—”

“Shut up, 007, your honor is intact.” Q commented before he started laughing. “It was a shoulder rub, Denise, I’m alright.”

“Why would you think—?”

“Listening to your words and my responses anyone might think that.” James seemed to ponder the conversation for a moment before he laughed as well.

“Well, to be quite honest your shoulders are very tight, Q.” James laughed again.

“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t… I just… I’m sorry.” Denise shook her head before she left the office and came back with the files in her hands. “I just wanted to give you this…”

“Denise…you just broke into my office and pointed a gun at the most paranoid double-o in existence—after a mission no less!—and did it only to help me. Correct me if I’m wrong.”

“No, sir.”

“Well, I think I just found my R.”

“Sir?”

“After knowingly facing down James fucking Bond, you deserve it. I’ll tell M and have a memo sent round.” Q smiled, his true, warm smile. “Congratulations, and thank you for making my day, that was lovely.”

“Thank you, sir…” Denise said hastily, a little out of breath with shock and adrenalin.

“You’re welcome. What’s this?” Q wondered.

“Some of the testings and some general paperwork as all. You were swamped so…I decided to help.”

“My hero today, aren’t you?” Q chuckled. “Though you did interrupt right when we were actually getting somewhere.” Denise blushed.

“I told you, I know how to give a good massage.” James smiled.

“I’ll…I’ll just go.” Denise said, walking out quickly and closing the door, nearly embarrassed to death.

“I was quite close to getting that knot out…do you want—?”

“007, I will send you out with a water pistol and no water if you stop.” Q stated, turning back to his computer, typing out a message to M as James began to work out the kink in Q’s shoulders. Q tensed slightly, it hurt, but it was a good pain, the type that you know would burn and ache, but as soon as it was done you would feel perfect again.

“You should really slouch a little every once in a while, this posture isn’t doing you any favors.”

“Don’t I know it? Ow—shit!” Q exclaimed when James pressed a thumb a little too hard into a knot in his back, having moved on from his shoulders.

“Sorry…”

“No you’re not, bastard.”

“Mmm, I’m not.” James agreed with a cheeky grin.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Concern for my Quartermaster. Can’t have you running yourself into the ground, can I?”

“That’s not it, it’s never simple with you.” Q commented. “Ah, as much as I hate to tell you this, you found another spot.” Q hissed, gritting his teeth as James rubbed the tension away.

“The concern part is true on more levels than one. Originally, I just planned to ask you to dinner, but I couldn’t very well asked when I got distracted by how bloody sore you looked. Had to do something.”

“Dinner?”

“Yes, with food, not just tea. Something to put some meat on your bones and to talk as not 007 and Q.”

“So as James and Q then?”

“You’re not going to tell me your name?”

“That would be the third date, 007, not the first.”

“Are you saying yes?”

“Yes.” Q said simply. “If I ever find 008.”

“I’ll see you tonight then.” James grinned, working out the last kink in Q’s back and smiling wider when he saw how much more relaxed Q looked, less pained. “Feel better?”

“Yes.” Q nodded.

“I knew you’d enjoy it.” James winked before he left the room.

“Insufferable git.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah... I don't even know.  
> Much love.


End file.
